The end of 2014 is fast approaching and with it inevitably will come end of the year blogs, “keeping to your goal” tips and articles that look forward to 2015 with a certain degree of cynicism. The following has most of the first and a bit of the latter but I can assure you it will contain no weight loss tips. It will, however, contain a picture of me (Kat) and Pepsi (my cat) they will not be labelled and thus I apologize if you can’t tell the difference.
This year hasn’t exactly been an easy one for me. I came into 2014 without a job and no real leads for finding one. The hotel I had been working at closed down and everyone lost their jobs. The building, once apartments in the 70s and then hotel suites now exist as one and two bedroom apartment/condos. I was (and still am) done with hospitality and had my mind set on one of two options: administrative or back to working with animals. I had many sleepless nights as anyone who has been unemployed can attest to, finding a job is depressing and boring and worrying. Everyday without a job can feel like a step towards being that way permanently. I constantly thought, “what if I don’t find something? What if I have to settle for something bottom of the barrel just to make ends meet?”
Job wise I eventually found something, a job I never even considered for myself but that fits like a glove with an amazing work environment. It’s not working with animals but sometimes all the other perks make up for that fact. It allowed me to wipe that worry out of my mind and take stock at what I wanted to do, and not what I needed to do.
This has been the year of lost and found. Of looking around, realizing I’m terrified about what’s around me and looking inside to find something to shield myself with. A lot of the internal soul-searching has happened in this year mostly focused on trying to “fix” bits of me that I didn’t like, ie: my ability to give up the moment the going gets tough, my ability to avoid groups of people I didn’t know like they have the plague and my fear of new things.